Thursday, May 28, 2009

Ibrahim Khalil, Native American Ahmadi

Islam also attracted people of Native American heritage. One convert who joined the St. Louis Ahmadiyya Muslim Community went by the name of Ibrahim Khalil. Ibrahim may have been the first Native American to become an Ahmadi Muslim. Ibrahim was said to be a very private man. What is known about him comes from the oral history of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community in the St. Louis area dating back to the 1930s.

According to Rasheed Ahmad of St. Louis, Ibrahim Khalil was a jazz musician - a saxophonist who played with a band featuring a singer named Ida Cox. He was said to be a very diplomatic individual who was known for always being immaculately dressed in fine suits. While in St. Louis, MO, he founded the Pyramid Barbershop, which still exists today on 4338 Oakwood.

Ibrahim was already a Muslim before he came into contact with the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community. It is believed that he was originally a member of one of the few Islamic brotherhood societies in America that existed during that time. When he heard about the Ahmadiyya Movement and about the claims of Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, he made a pilgrimage to Chicago to meet with Sufi Mutiur Rahman Bengalee, who was the missionary there during the 1930s. He reportedly accepted shortly afterward and then returned back to St. Louis and became a vital part of its Ahmadiyya community.

According to Ahmadi elder Munir Ahmad, who now owns the Pyramid Barbershop, Ibrahim was originally from Mississippi and his family name before he he became a Muslim was Johnson. These last two points suggest that he was perhaps a member of the Choctaw Nation - a majority of whom are located in Mississippi. (When Nations Gather, by Sultan Abdul Latif, page 256-259)

Angela Y. Walton-Raji states in her book, African-American Ancestors Among the Five Civilzed Tribes, that through intermarrying came European surnames into the Choctaw Nation.

...this was how European surnames became part of most of the Indigenous tribes. As the Indian women married European men, names such as Ross, Boudinot, Leflore, Johnson were not unusual in Indian communities. (Black Genealogy Research: African-American Ancestors Among the Five Civilized Traibes, by Angela Y Walton-Raji, page 8)


Monday, May 25, 2009

Dr. Mufti Muhammad Sadiq


His Influence On The Spread Of Islam In The United States

Dr. Mufti Muhammad Sadiq, who came from India, was the first Muslim Missionary to America. His purpose, as a representative of the Ahmadiyya Movement in Islam, was to convert Americans to the religion of Islam.

On January 24, 1920, Dr. Sadiq left England on the S.S. Haverford, headed for the United States, where he intended to establish a mission. On board the ship Dr. Sadiq succeeded in converting six Chinese passengers to the Ahmadiyya Muslim faith.

When the S.S. Haverford arrived in Philadelphia on February 15, 1920, the United States Immigration authorities refused to allow Dr. Sadiq to enter the country. After the authorities interrogated him for several hours and established that Dr. Sadiq was a representative of a religious group that practiced polygyny, they asked him to leave the United States. Dr. Sadiq refused to go and asked for an appeal to the Secretariat in Washington D.C. He was incarcerated in the Philadelphia Detention House until the decision of the appeal was handed down.

Mr. R. J. Rochford, who was also in the Detention House, became Dr. Sadiq's first convert to Islam in the United States. During those weeks of incarceration, Dr. Sadiq made nineteen other converts. These men were from Jamaica, British Guiana, Poland, Russia, Germany, Azores, Belgium, Portugal, Italy, and France.

After seven weeks of incarceration, Dr. Sadiq was finally allowed to enter the United States in April of 1920, on condition that he would not preach polygyny. Dr. Sadiq made a distinction between commandments and permissions in Islam. He stated that all Muslims must follow the commandments of their religion, but may avoid the permissions. For instance, no government can persuade a Muslim to worship more than one God, since the worship of one God is a commandment of their religion. However, polygyny is permitted only in countries whose laws sanction its practice. In countires that prohibit polygyny, permission for its practice is disallowed under the commandment that all Muslims must obey the laws of the country in which they live. This response enabled Dr. Sadiq to begin his work in the United States.

A dark skinned man with a heavy gray beard, wearing a bright green turban and a gray coat with flowing sleeves, Dr. Sadiq presented quite a striking picture to the American public. He came at a time when race riots against black Americans rocked the nation's cities. Racial discrimination against Indian and Asian immigrants was also at an all time high. Many racially oriented uprisings were directed against immigrants from the Punjab, whom white American called "ragheads" because they wore turbans. This was the challenging climate into which Dr. Sadiq came to win the people's hearts to Islam.

Dr. Sadiq was well suited for his role as preacher, writer and public speaker for the Ahmadiyya Movement in the United States. He had served as a missionary in England for a number of years, and was a very learned man. He was a graduate of the University of London, a philologist of international repute and an expert in Arabic and Hebrew. He spoke seven languages and held six doctorate degrees.

Dr. Sadiq set up his first headquarters in April 1920 at 1897 Madison Avenue in New York City. By the end of May, he had made twelve new converts to the Ahmadiyya Movement ---six from the Christian community and six from the Islamic immigrant community. Mrs S. W. Sobolewski was the first American woman converted by Dr. Sadiq to Islam in New York. He named her Fatima Mustafa, in fulfillment of a dream he had in England about an American female convert.

During his three years in America, Dr. Sadiq converted over seven hundred to Islam, from all racial, ethnic and religious groups. His missionary work was done through preaching and writing. By may 10, 1920, he had contributed twenty articles on Islam to various American periodicals and newspapers, among them The New York Times.

I October, 1920, Dr. Sadiq moved the headquarters of the Ahmadiyya mission to Chicago because of its central location. He purchased a house in an affluent area of Chicago, at 4448 S. Wabash, and converted it to a mosque. In July 1921, he published the first issue of the Moslem Sunrise. This journal appeared every three months. Its purpose was to teach Islam and refute the misrepresentations of Islam that appeared in the American press.

Like many immigrants from the "darker races" Indian Muslims suffered discrimination in the United States. The Ahmadiyya Muslim Community pointed to the race problem in the United States as proof that Americans needed Islam. The Ahmadis said that it was pitiful that the Christian teachings of brotherhood and equality had not been able to eliminate the evils of racism. Furthermore, the Ahmadis claimed that in Muslim countries people of all colors worshipped together so that there were never seats or mosques, which separated people based on race.

Because of its teaching and practice of universal brotherhood, the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community attracted many black Americans, who assumed leadership roles within the Movement. During this period , Dr. Mufti Muhammad Sadiq became friends with Jamaican born Marcus Garvey, the founder of the Universal Negro Improvement Association, (UNIA).

Marcus Garvey had captured the imagination of millions of black people around the world on the 1920s. In America, hundreds of thousands became dues paying members of the UNIA. Marcus Garvey has the distinction of starting the first extensive movement among black Americans. His concepts of race pride and self help, as they were embodied in the UNIA, led to the establishment of the largest international racial justice movement in the history of black culture.

In 1923, Dr. Sadiq gave five lectures at the UNIA meetings in Detroit. Eventually, he converted forty Garveyites to the Ahmadiyya Muslim faith. The most noteworthy of these converts was a former Christian minister, Reverend Sutton, who was named Sheik Abdus Salaam and was appointed the leader of the Detroit branch of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community.

Black Americans were told that Islam was the religion of their fore-parents before slavery. Apparently, through their connection with the UNIA's internationalist perspective, the Ahmadi Muslims had acquired a keen understanding of the ordinary black man that enabled them to connect Islam with Pan-Africanism and race pride. The adoption of Muslim names by all new converts was further commitment to the Islamic world view as was the wearing of veils by some of the female converts.

A number of Islamic oriented organizations sprang up among black Americans in the 1920's and 30's, apparently influenced by both Dr. Sadiq's teachings and by the philosophy of the UNIA. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad, leader of the most successful of these organizations, the Lost-Found Nation of Islam, is stated to have been a corporal in the uniformed ranks of the UNIA.

During his time in the United States, Dr. Sadiq had made many devoted friends. The Muslims in Chicago were so attached to Dr. Sadiq that they sent a letter to the international head of the Ahmadiyya Movement, requesting that he be allowed to stay in the United States indefinitely. However, at the end of September 1923, Dr. Sadiq left the United States and stayed in Paris, France for several weeks, where he lectured and secured converts there. Then he returned to India.

When Dr. Sadiq began his missionary work in the United States, most Americans had never heard of Islam or the name "Muslim," and had never seen a mosque. Today, Islam is the fastest growing religion in the United States, with millions of converts to various sects.

The Ahmadiyya Movement in Islam is continuing its missionary efforts across the United States and around the world. It has established missions in 170 countries. It has communities in fifty-three U.S. cities, where new mosque and mission houses are established. Dr. Sadiq's work has grown from one small seed of faith into a tree whose branches are spreading from coast to coast.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Facebook | My Photos - As I see the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community: Early Years


Facebook | My Photos - As I see the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community: Early Years

Historic photographs of early members of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community in America.

This is a photo of Aliyya Ali. She was the first African American to accept Ahmadiyya, the true Islam, which was in 1921. Aliya was originally from Kenner, LA and on a visit to Chicago she heard about Ahmadiyya. As a result she paid a visit to the mosque at 4448 South Wabash. Her visit marked the beginning of African Americans into its fold. Aliyya Ali subsequently established her permanent residents in Chicago and the rest is history.

American Ahmadi Muslims in Qadian


This was the 1st large delegation of American Ahmadi Muslims who attended the Jalsa Salana in Qadian, India 1973-74.

American Ahmadi Muslims in Rabwah

This photo was taken in Rabwah, Pakistan about 1977-78. We were at a dinner party hosted by M.S. Shahid who, was a Chief Missionary of the USA Jamaat. Five of his children are in this photo.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Sheik Ahmad Din, Muslim Missionary

In 1922, The Moslem Sunrise magazine featured a picture (to the left) and a short report about a recent Black convert, Sheik Ahmad Din (P. Nathaniel Johnson). He was described as a "zealous worker for Islam", who had recently been appointed Missionary in St. Louis, Missouri.

An article about Din in the St Louis Dispatch reports that he had acquired one hundred converts during the first six months of his mission in St. Louis (Islam in the African-American Experience, by Richard Brent Turner, page 126).
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Good Family Relations: The Islamic Way by Alhaj Dhul-Waqar Yaqub

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE GRACIOUS, THE MERCIFUL


ALLAH EXHORTS US IN HIS HOLY WORD TO "KEEP UP THE SUPPLICATION: LORD, BESTOW ON ME AN INCREASE OF KNOWLEDGE." PERHAPS THIS IS BECAUSE WE LOVE IN PROPORTION TO THE HEAVENLY KNOWLEDGE, WHICH WE RECEIVED. FOR LOVE KEEPS PACE WITH KNOWLEDGE; AND AS THE ONE INCREASES SO DOES THE OTHER. WHEN HEAVENLY KNOWLEDGE IS PERFECTED, LOVE WILL BE PERFECTED ALSO. AND THAT KNOWLEDGE, THAT LOVE, WILL BE MANIFESTED IN HEALTHY, HIGHLY FUNCTIONING FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS. APPLIED KNOWLEDGE AND LOVE PRODUCES MODEL FAMILIES.


THIS PAPER: "GOOD FAMILY RELATIONS: THE ISLAMIC WAY," IS A SUBJECT THAT TOUCHES THE VERY CORE OF OUR DEEPEST CHALLENGES AND CONCERNS.


TO REVIEW OUR KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD FAMILY RELATIONS, LET US EXAMINE THEM FROM THE VIEWPOINT OF UNDERSTANDING THE FAMILY STRUCTURE IN ISLAM. IT WOULD SEEM REASONABLE TO ASSUME THAT IF WE COMPREHEND THE MUSLIM FAMILY AS BOTH A RELIGIOUS AND A SOCIAL-BEHAVIORAL SYSTEM, IT WILL BE POSSIBLE TO MAINTAIN GOOD FAMILY RELATIONS.



FAMILY'S OBLIGATIONS TO SOCIETY

FAMILY RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS ARE NOT PRIVATE FAMILY AFFAIRS OF NO CONCERN TO THE REST OF SOCIETY. DUTIES AND OBLIGATIONS ARE ASSIGNED TO THE FAMILY MEMBERS WHO ARE ENJOINED TO ADMINISTER THEM PRIVATELY. BUT, IF THE SITUATION BECOMES UNMANAGEABLE, RELIGION COMMANDS SOCIETY, REPRESENTED BY DESIGNATED AUTHORITIES AS WELL AS CONSCIENTIOUS INDIVIDUALS, TO TAKE WHATEVER ACTION IS NECESSARY TO IMPLEMENT ITS SOCIAL LAW, IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN EQUITY AND HARMONY. THIS IS A NATURAL RESULT OF THE FACT THAT THE MUTUAL EXPECTATIONS OF THE FAMILY MEMBERS ARE NOT ESTABLISHED ONLY BY FAMILIAL RELATIONSHIP, BUT ALSO BY THE MEMBERSHIP IN A LARGER SOCIAL SYSTEM WHICH DERIVES FROM A COMMON RELIGIOUS BROTHERHOOD. THIS BROTHERHOOD HAS ITS OWN IMPLICATIONS. IT IS CONCEIVED TO REINFORCE FAMILY TIES, COMPLEMENT THEM, OR PREVENT THEIR ABUSE.



THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE

THE FAMILY IS THE BASIC UNIT OF HUMAN SOCIETY. THE FOUNDATION OF A FAMILY IS LAID THROUGH MARRIAGE. THE STRONG EMPHASIS THAT ISLAM HAS PUT ON MARRIAGE MAY BE SEEN CLEARLY IN THE CONTEXT OF THE PURPOSE THAT MARRIAGE IS DESIGNATED TO SERVE.


MARRIAGE IS REGARDED FIRST AND FOREMOST AS AN ACT OF PIETY. ALLAH SAYS, "HE IT IS WHO CREATED YOU FROM A SINGLE SOUL, AND MADE THEREFROM ITS MATE, THAT HE MIGHT FIND COMFORT IN HER.” (AL-A'RAF VERSE 190) "OF HIS SIGNS IT IS THAT HE CREATED YOU FROM DUST, AND LO! YOU ARE HUMAN BEINGS SPREAD OVER THE EARTH. OF HIS SIGNS IT IS THAT HE HAS CREATED MATES FOR YOU OF YOUR OWN KIND THAT YOU MAY FIND PEACE OF MIND THROUGH THEM, AND HE HAS PUT LOVE AND TENDERNESS BETWEEN YOU. IN THAT SURELY ARE SIGNS FOR A PEOPLE WHO REFLECT." (AL-RUM VERSE 21)


THE LEAST FOCAL ASPECT OF ISLAMIC MARRIAGE IS THE ECONOMIC FACTOR. ALLAH SAYS, "ARRANGE THE MARRIAGES OF THE WIDOWS FROM AMONG YOU, AND OF THE RIGHTEOUS FROM AMONG THOSE UNDER YOUR CONTROL, MALE AND FEMALE. IF THEY BE POOR, ALLAH WILL GRANT THEM MEANS OUT OF HIS BOUNTY. ALLAH IS VASTLY BOUNTIFUL, ALL-KNOWING." (AL-NUR VERSE 33) THE HOLY PROPHET (SAW) IS REPORTED TO HAVE SAID, "IN MARRYING A WOMAN, A MAN'S CHOICE OF A SPOUSE IS DETERMINED BY THE CONSIDERATION OF HER WEALTH, HER FAMILY, HER PHYSICAL BEAUTY AND HER RELIGIOUS PIETY, BUT THOU SHOULDST MAKE THY LIFE HAPPY, PROSPEROUS AND SUCCESSFUL, BY CHOOSING A SPOUSE, ON ACCOUNT OF HER RELIGIOUS PIETY, AS THIS IS THE SOURCE FOR LASTING CONTENTMENT." (BUKHARI)


OUR LATE, BELOVED KHALIFATUL MASIH II, MIRZA BASHIRUDDIN MAHMUD AHMAD HAS EMPHASIZED: "MARRIAGE IS A VERY DELICATE AND IMPORTANT MATTER. AS A MATTER OF FACT, VERY FEW OTHER MATTERS ARE AS IMPORTANT. WHAT IS MARRIAGE? IT IS SIMPLY A MEANS TO CARRY OUT THE DIVINE PLAN. ALLAH WISHES THAT MAN MUST PROCREATE, PROPAGATE AND SPREAD, AND THUS MAINTAIN HIMSELF AS THE MOST WONDERFUL AND SUBLIMEST OF THE DIVINE CREATION.


"THE WORD MARRIAGE MAY SOUND LIKE AN ORDINARY THING, BUT IT IS REALLY A CONSECRATION OF A GREAT DIVINE PLAN. AS SUCH IT IS OF SO GREAT AN IMPORTANCE THAT I WOULD PUT IT NEXT ONLY TO OUR RELATION WITH ALLAH, AND IT IS OUR REQUIRED DUTY TO SEE THAT IT IS DULY RESPECTED AND ADHERED TO FAITHFULLY."



MARRIAGE CONTRACT

SOME OBSERVERS HAVE BEEN LED TO STRESS THE CONTRACTUAL NATURE OF MARRIAGE IN ISLAM. THEY MAINTAIN THAT MARRIAGE AS A CONTRACT MUST STATE CONDITIONS AND TERMS THAT FALL WITHIN LEGAL BOUNDS, CAPABLE OF BEING ALTERED. SOMETIMES THE STRESS ON THE SOCIO-LEGAL AND CONTRACTUAL ELEMENTS OF MARRIAGE TENDS TO OBSCURE THE RELIGIOUS ASPECT: "MARRIAGE IS A CONTRACT, BUT MARRIAGE IS ALSO A COVENANT." ALLAH SAYS, "...THEY (WOMEN) HAVE TAKEN FROM YOU A STRONG COVENANT." (AL-NISA VERSE 22) IT IS NOT ACCURATE TO DESIGNATE MARRIAGE IN ISLAM AS A SECULAR CONTRACT. ALTHOUGH IT HAS THOSE ELEMENTS. THE APPROPRIATE DESIGNATION IS THAT IT IS OF A "DIVINE INSTITUTION."



CONDITIONS OF MARRIAGE

SO, THE QURAN DESCRIBES MARRIAGE AS A "COVENANT" BETWEEN ALLAH AND THE HUMAN PARTIES AS WELL AS BETWEEN THESE PARTIES THEMSELVES. IF THE MARRIAGE IS TO BE CONSUMMATED AND BECOME VALID, CERTAIN CONDITIONS MUST BE SATISFIED. SOME OF THESE CONDITIONS ARE: (1) AS THERE IS NO COURTSHIP IN ISLAM A MUSLIM MALE GUARDIAN IS REQUIRED TO ACT ON BEHALF OF THE FEMALE IN A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. THE GUARDIAN IS TO BE OF SOUND MIND, FULL AGE AND GOOD CHARACTER. HE SAFEGUARDS THE FEMALE'S MORAL INTEGRITY AND TAKES ALL PRECAUTIONS TO MAXIMIZE THE PROBABILITY OF A GOOD MARRIAGE. (2) THERE MUST BE A DIRECT, UNEQUIVOCAL PROPOSAL FOLLOWED BY A CORRESPONDING ACCEPTANCE THEREOF; (3) THE WORDS USED IN THE CONTRACT MUST BE DIRECTLY DERIVED FROM, OR INTIMATELY RELATED TO, THE ROOT WORD OF MARRIAGE; (4) THERE MUST BE AT LEAST TWO COMPETENT WITNESSES SO THAT THE PROGENY'S RIGHT OF LEGITIMACY WILL BE SAFEGUARDED; (5) THE CONTRACT REQUIRES THE CONTRIBUTION OF A "DOWRY," OR MARRIAGE GIFT, BY THE GROOM TO THE BRIDE; (6) THE MARRIAGE MUST BE WIDELY PUBLICIZED; (7) THE WOMEN MUST BE FREE FROM ALL MARITAL BONDS, FREE OF PREGNANCY, OUT SIDE THE "WAITING PERIOD" IF SHE IS DIVORCED OR WIDOWED, AND SHE MUST NOT FALL WITHIN THE FORBIDDEN DEGREES OF BLOOD RELATIONS; (8) SHE MUST BE A MONOTHEIST OR FROM AMONG THE "PEOPLE OF THE BOOK;" (9) HE OR SHE MUST BE FREE FROM ADULTERY AND FORNICATION; (10) THE CONTRACTING MAN MUST BE A MUSLIM.


IT WOULD NOT BE OUT OF PLACE HERE TO ELABORATE ON DOWRY. DOWRY IS USED TO DESIGNATE THE GIFT A MUSLIM GROOM GIVES TO HIS BRIDE. IT IS A SYMBOL OF TRUTHFULNESS AND SINCERITY ON THE PART OF THE HUSBAND. THE DOWRY BECOMES HER PERSONAL PROPERTY WHICH SHE IS EMPOWERED TO WAIVE, REDUCE, RETURN TO HER HUSBAND, OR DISPENSE WITH AS SHE PLEASES. IT MAY CONSIST OF MONEY, PROPERTY, MOVABLE OBJECTS, OR SERVICES RENDERED TO THE BRIDE HERSELF. THERE IS A TRADITION THAT A COMPANION OF THE PROPHET WANTED TO MARRY A CERTAIN WOMAN BUT HAD NOTHING TO OFFER HER IN DOWRY. THE PROPHET ASKED HIM TO TEACH HER WHATEVER HE KNEW OF THE QURAN, AND THAT SUFFICED AS A DOWRY.


THE LIMITS OF DOWRY SHOULD BE ESTIMATED ACCORDING TO CIRCUMSTANCES WITH EMPHASIS ON MODERATION. THE HOLY PROPHET IS REPORTED TO HAVE SAID THAT THE MOST BLESSED MARRIAGE IS THAT WHICH IS LEAST COSTLY AND MOST EASY. HAZRAT KHALIFATUL MASIH IV HAS SET AN AMOUNT OF 6 MONTHS TO ONE YEARS WAGES.



MATE SELECTION

THE IDEA THAT LOVE IS BLIND AND LOVE IS THE DECISIVE FACTOR IN MATE SELECTION IS NOT THE NORM OF ANY SOCIETY. THE BELIEF THAT "LOVE AND MARRIAGE GO TOGETHER LIKE A HORSE AND CARRIAGE" HAS BEEN DRUMMED INTO THE HEADS OF WESTERN YOUNG PEOPLE SO INSISTENTLY THAT THEY CONSIDER "BEING-IN-LOVE" BEFORE MARRIAGE ENTIRELY NATURAL. PERHAPS THE PRESSURE ON THE MARRIAGE CREATED BY EMPHASIS ON UNREALISTIC ROMANTIC LOVE MAY CONTRIBUTE TO THE HIGH DIVORCE RATE IN WESTERN SOCIETIES. THE FACT IS, RULES AND CONSIDERATIONS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT INCLUDE THE PRIORITY OF LOVE HAVE HISTORICALLY GOVERNED MATE SELECTION IN MANY SOCIETIES.


THESE DAYS THE AMERICAN MIDDLE CLASS TREND IN MATE SELECTION IS TOWARD WHAT IS CALLED "SOCIAL EQUALITY IN MARRIAGE." THIS CONCEPT IS BASED ON TWO THEORIES: (1) PEOPLE TEND TO MARRY PEOPLE WHO ARE SOCIALLY AND ECONOMICALLY LIKE THEMSELVES; (2) EVERY INDIVIDUAL SEEKS WITHIN THEIR FIELD OF ELIGIBLES THAT PERSON WHO GIVES THE GREATEST PROMISE OF PROVIDING MAXIMUM NEED GRATIFICATION.


WESTERN ADVOCATES SUGGEST THAT THE WELFARE OF THE FAMILY REQUIRE MEASURES OF SOCIAL EQUALITY TO MAXIMIZE THE PROBABILITY OF MARITAL SUCCESS. THEY SAY WHEN TWO PARTIES ARE NOT SOCIALLY EQUAL, IT IS THE MAN WHO MUST "MEASURE UP" TO THE WOMAN. A WOMAN MAY MARRY ABOVE BUT NOT BELOW HER SOCIAL LEVEL, WHEREAS A MAN MAY MARRY BELOW BUT NOT ABOVE HIS. THIS MEANS THAT THE LEADERSHIP ROLE, IS THE MANS, AS HE IS THE PROVIDER OF THE FAMILY AND THE BEARER OF ITS SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC STATUS. IF HIS LEADERSHIP IS TO BE REAL AND LASTING, HE MUST BE CERTAIN OF HIS STATUS. THIS IS MOST LIKELY TO BE OBTAINED WHEN HE MARRIES HIS EQUAL OR DOWN. BUT IF HE MARRIES UP, HIS POSITION MAY BE SUBJECT TO UNCERTAINTY. PERSONALITIES MAY CONFLICT; ROLES MAY BECOME DIFFUSED AND BLURRED AND FAMILY STABILITY ENDANGERED. TO MINIMIZE THIS RISK, IT IS DEEMED ADVISABLE FOR A MAN TO MARRY HIS SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC EQUAL. THE CASE OF WOMEN IS NOT THE SAME. IT IS PREFERRED THAT THE WOMAN MARRIES HER EQUAL OR UP, NOT DOWN.


THIS WESTERN CONCEPT OF "SOCIAL EQUALITY IN MARRIAGE" HAS NO SUPPORT FROM THE HOLY QURAN. ALLAH SAYS, " VERILY, THE MOST HONORABLE AMONG YOU, IN THE SIGHT OF ALLAH, IS HE WHO IS THE MOST RIGHTEOUS AMONG YOU. SURELY, ALLAH IS ALL-KNOWING. ALL-AWARE." (AL-HUJURAT VERSE 14)


ISLAM ASSERTS "RELIGIOUS EQUALITY IN MARRIAGE." ACCORDINGLY, EVERY INDIVIDUAL IS RANKED FIRST ON THE BASIS OF RELIGIOUS VIRTUES. THESE VIRTUES MAY OR MAY NOT AGREE WITH TRADITIONAL WESTERN VALUES. ALL MUSLIMS ARE TO BE REGARDED AS EQUALS IN THE SIGHT OF ALLAH AND BROTHERS OF ONE ANOTHER (AL-HUJURAT VERSE 11); THE ONLY RECOGNIZABLE CRITERION OF DISTINCTION IS THAT OF RIGHTEOUSNESS OR TAQWA.


THIS CRITERIA OF RIGHTEOUSNESS INCLUDES BELIEF IN ALLAH; THE LAST DAY OF JUDGMENT (WHICH DEPENDS THE DIRECTS MAN’S ACTIONS IN THIS LIFE); BELIEF IN ANGELS; DIVINE SCRIPTURES; AND THE PROPHETS. RIGHTEOUS ACTIONS ARE RECOGNIZED BY SPENDING FOR THE LOVE OF ALLAH; PRAYER AND PAYMENT OF ZAKAT; KEEPING ONE'S PROMISE; AND DISPLAYING FORTITUDE, PATIENCE AND STEADFASTNESS IN TIME OF DISTRESS.



DOMESTIC FAMILY RELATIONS

SO FAR, THE DISCUSSION HAS BEEN CONCERNED WITH THE FORMATION OF THE FAMILY. LET US NOW TURN TO DOMESTIC FAMILY RELATIONS.


TO BEGIN WITH, THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A HUSBAND AND WIFE IS TOO INTIMATE AND VARIED TO LEND ITSELF EASILY AND ENTIRELY TOO FORMAL RULES AND REGULATIONS, HOWEVER COMPREHENSIVE. IT DEFIES THE SUBTLEST FORMALITIES OF RULES OF LAW SINCE IT OPERATES ON LEVELS THAT ARE NOT ALWAYS ACCESSIBLE TO DETECTION. THEREFORE, IT IS SIMPLER TO FOCUS ON THE MORAL PRINCIPLES OF THE HUSBAND-WIFE RELATIONSHIP SO THAT WE DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF THE FACT THAT ALLAH IS THE INTEGRAL ELEMENT OF ANY ACTION SITUATION.


ALLAH SAYS, "AND ONE OF HIS SIGNS IS THAT HE HAS CREATED WIVES FOR YOU FROM AMONG YOURSELVES THAT YOU MAY FIND PEACE OF MIND IN THEM, AND HE HAS PUT LOVE AND TENDERNESS BETWEEN YOU. IN THAT SURELY ARE SIGNS FOR A PEOPLE WHO REFLECT." (AL-RUM VERSE 22) HERE, ALLAH DEFINES THE PRINCIPLES OF THE HUSBAND-WIFE RELATIONSHIP AS BEING ONE OF A CONSCIENTIOUS COMMITMENT BY BOTH PARTIES THAT THE MARITAL UNION BE AN ABODE OF PEACE OF MIND, LOVE AND TENDERNESS.



THE WIFE'S RIGHT; THE HUSBAND'S OBLIGATIONS

THE HUSBAND'S OBLIGATIONS IN MEETING THE CHALLENGE OF MARRIAGE BECOMES CLEAR WHEN ALLAH SAYS, "...AND CONSORT WITH THEM IN KINDNESS...(AL-NISA VERSE 20) AND "MEN ARE APPOINTED GUARDIANS OVER WOMEN, BECAUSE OF THAT IN RESPECT OF WHICH ALLAH HAS MADE SOME OF THEM EXCEL OTHERS, AND BECAUSE MEN SPEND OF THEIR WEALTH..." (AL-NISA VERSE 35)


TRANSLATED INTO BEHAVIORAL TERMS, THESE MORAL PRINCIPLES ALLOCATE TO THE WIFE CERTAIN RIGHTS, WHICH ARE THE HUSBAND'S DUTY TO ALLAH TO FULFILL. THE WIFE IS TO BE CONSORTED WITH IN AN EQUITABLE AND KIND MANNER AND THAT THE HUSBAND IS TO BEAR THE FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER MAINTENANCE.


THE WIFE'S MAINTENANCE ENTAILS HER INCONTESTABLE RIGHT TO LODGING, CLOTHING, FOOD, AND GENERAL CARE. HER LODGING MUST BE ADEQUATE SO AS TO ENSURE HER PRIVACY, COMFORT, AND INDEPENDENCE. THIS IS INTERPRETED TO MEAN THAT THE LODGING QUARTERS MUST BEFIT HIS MEANS AND HER STYLE OF LIFE. THIS RIGHT IS TO BE EXERCISED WITHOUT EXTRAVAGANCE OR MISERLINESS. THE HUSBAND'S RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE WIFE'S SHELTER DOES NOT ENTITLE HIM TO IMPOSE UPON HER ANY DISAGREEABLE ARRANGEMENT OF RESIDENCE. ALLAH SAYS, "LODGE THEM... IN THE HOUSES WHEREIN YOU DWELL, ACCORDING TO YOUR MEANS; AND HARASS THEM NOT THAT YOU MAY CREATE HARDSHIP FOR THEM...LET ONE WHO IS IN EASY CIRCUMSTANCES SPEND ACCORDING TO HIS MEANS, AND LET HIM WHOSE MEANS OF SUBSISTENCE ARE STRAITENED SPEND OUT OF THAT WHICH ALLAH HAS GIVEN HIM. ALLAH DOES NOT REQUIRE OF ANYONE BEYOND THAT WHICH HE HAS BESTOWED ON HIM. FOR THOSE SUFFERING FROM HARDSHIP, ALLAH WILL SOON BRING ABOUT EASE." (AL-TALAQ VERSES 7&8)


FAILURE TO PROVIDE FOR THE WIFE MAY SOMETIMES BE INVOLUNTARY. ECONOMIC FLUCTUATIONS AND SOCIAL CHANGE MAY CAUSE THE HUSBAND TO BECOME DESTITUTE. RELIGION DEMANDS MAINTENANCE FOR THE WIFE; BUT THIS IS DIFFICULT TO ACHIEVE IF THE HUSBAND IS DESTITUTE. THE SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM CALLS FOR COMPASSION AND COOPERATION BETWEEN MARITAL PARTNERS. ASSUMING THAT EACH PARTY WOULD SHOW THE DECENCY AND INTEGRITY EXPECTED OF CONSCIENTIOUS MUSLIMS, IT COULD BE ANTICIPATED THAT THE HUSBAND WOULD DO HIS UTMOST TO MINIMIZE HIS WIFE'S DEPRIVATION AND SHE, IN TURN WOULD DO HER UTMOST TO STAND BY HIM, SHARING HIS UPS AND DOWN. IT MAY MOTIVATE THE HUSBAND TO INTENSIFY HIS DRIVE TO IMPROVE HIS CONDITION, SO AS TO KEEP HIS FAMILY AND PRIDE. IT MAY ALSO ENCOURAGE THE HUSBAND TO RISE TO GREATER HEIGHTS OF CHARACTER, STRIVE TO ACQUIRE PERSONAL QUALITIES THAT CAN BE A SOURCE OF CONSOLATION FOR THE WIFE WHO HAS HOPEFULLY PROVEN HER INTEGRITY, PATIENCE, UNDERSTANDING, AND LOYALTY UNDER ADVERSE CONDITIONS.


NOW LET US LOOK MORE CLOSELY AT ALLAH'S DIRECTIVE THAT THE HUSBAND CONSORT WITH HIS WIFE "IN KINDNESS." ALTHOUGH THIS IS A QURANIC COMMANDMENT FROM ALLAH ADDRESSED TO MEN SPECIFICALLY, FUNDAMENTAL QURANIC PRINCIPLES APPLY TO ALL HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS. SO, "CONSORTING WITH KINDNESS" IS NOT A ONE-SIDED AFFAIR. IT IS ALSO VALID FOR THE WIFE TO HUSBAND AS WELL. ALL ARE TO RECIPROCATE EACH OTHERS LOVE AND KINDNESS. DEPENDING ON THE ASSIMILATION OF KNOWLEDGE AND LOVE INTO OUR CHARACTER, OR NOT, WE CAN EITHER BE THE PERSONIFICATION OF ONE WHO "CONSORTS WITH KINDNESS" OR ACTUALLY BE CRUEL AND MEAN-SPIRITED AND NOT REALIZE IT.


AS STATED EARLIER, THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE IS HIGHLY INTIMATE AND VARIED. EACH PERSON, EACH FAMILY, IS AT A DIFFERENT STAGE OF DEVELOPMENT. AT ONE END OF THE CONTINUUM ARE FAMILIES WITH LOVING, HIGHLY FUNCTIONING, GROWTH-FILLED RELATIONSHIPS DESPITE TRIALS, WHICH ARE A CONTINUOUS PART OF LIFE. AT THE OPPOSITE END OF THE CONTINUUM ARE FAMILIES LOCKED IN THE GRIP OF SUCH TURMOIL AND DESPAIR THAT BELIEVERS WOULD CRY - "WHEN WILL COME THE HELP OF ALLAH?" AT SUCH TIMES ALLAH SAYS THAT HIS HELP IS NEAREST. (AL-BAQARAH VERSE 215)


PERHAPS IT IS JUST THEN, WHEN THINGS ARE MOST CONTRADICTORY, DIFFICULT, AND FRUSTRATING THAT LIFE REALLY MAKES SENSE. SUCH CIRCUMSTANCES PROVOKE US, ALMOST FORCES US, TO DEVELOP OUR HIGHER FACULTIES. OLD WAYS OF DOING THINGS NO LONGER WORK. AS ALBERT EINSTEIN OBSERVED; "THE SIGNIFICANT PROBLEMS WE FACE CANNOT BE SOLVED AT THE SAME LEVEL OF THINKING WE WERE AT WHEN WE CREATED THE PROBLEMS." WE NEED A NEW AND DEEPER LEVEL OF THINKING BASED ON QURANIC PRINCIPLES THAT FIRST, ACCURATELY DESCRIBES OUR PROBLEM (CORRECT DIAGNOSIS IS CRITICAL) AND SECOND, PROVIDES ITS REMEDY. THEN PRAYER, TO GIVE US THE WILL TO APPLY THAT REMEDY.



LOVE'S RENEWAL

PERHAPS ONE OF MARRIAGE'S MOST DIFFICULT TESTING TIMES IS WHEN THE "SAME-NESS" OF THE RELATIONSHIP BEGINS TO BLUNT ENTHUSIASM AND CHALLENGE THE MARRIAGE COMMITMENT. THE INTIMACY, RICHNESS, SOFTNESS AND SPONTANEITY HAVE GONE AND ONE SPOUSE, OR BOTH, FEEL NO INSPIRATION TO REVIVE IT.


IN CHAPTER AL-NISA, ALLAH SAYS: "IF A WOMAN FEARS ILL-TREATMENT OR INDIFFERENCE FROM HER HUSBAND, IT SHALL BE NO SIN FOR THEM THAT THEY ARE SUITABLY RECONCILED TO EACH OTHER, AND RECONCILIATION IS BEST." IN OTHER WORDS, IT IS AS IF ALLAH SAYS: DOES THE COUPLE THINK THEY WOULD BE COMMITTING A SIN IF THEY BECAME RECONCILED TO EACH OTHER? IT IS NO SIN TO DO SO. ON THE CONTRARY, IT IS A COMMENDABLE THING. IT IS AN EXHORTATION FROM ALLAH. SO ALLAH ENCOURAGES US THAT LOVE AND CARING CAN BE REVIVED. AND SINCE IT CAN, THAT IS A GOOD REASON TO BEGIN TO PUT THE REVIVAL PROCESS IN MOTION. ONE MIGHT ASK: "BUT HOW DO YOU LOVE WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LOVE?"


POPULAR OPINION TELLS US TO BE DRIVEN BY FEELINGS, NOT VALUES; TO BE PROGRAMMED TO BELIEVE THAT WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE, THAT WE ARE A PRODUCT OF OUR FEELINGS. BUT THIS IS NOT THE REALITY. IF OUR FEELINGS CONTROL OUR ACTIONS, IT IS BECAUSE WE HAVE ABDICATED OUR RESPONSIBILITY AND EMPOWERED THEM TO DO SO. WE CAN SUBORDINATE FEELINGS TO VALUES AND MAKE LOVE A VERB. AND A VERB IS AN ACTION WORD. LOVE -- THE FEELING -- IS A FRUIT OF LOVE -- THE VERB. LOVE IS SOMETHING WE DO. IT IS THE SACRIFICES WE MAKE,THE GIVING OF SELF, LIKE A MOTHER BRINGS A NEWBORN INTO THE WORLD. IF WE WANT TO STUDY LOVE, STUDY THOSE WHO SACRIFICE FOR OTHERS, EVEN FOR PEOPLE WHO OFFEND, OR DO NOT LOVE IN RETURN. LOOK AT THE LOVE WE HAVE FOR THE CHILDREN WE SACRIFICED FOR.


IN THE QURAN LOVE IS A VERB, AN ACTION WORD. RE-STUDY THE LIFE OF THE PROPHET (SAW) AND HOW HE LOVED -- HIS WIVES, HIS FAMILY, THE BELIEVERS, ALL OF HUMANITY.


SO HUSBAND AND WIFE SHOULD PRACTICE LOVING EACH OTHER (THE HIGHEST FORM OF "CONSORTING IN KINDNESS"). FOR INSTANCE, PRAY FOR EACH OTHER. "LORD, MAKE MY SPOUSE THE DELIGHT OF MY EYES AND MAKE US MODELS FOR THE RIGHTEOUS," IS A QURANIC PRAYER ALLAH TAUGHT US THAT CAN HAVE MIRACULOUS EFFECT. AND SERVE EACH OTHER. SACRIFICE FOR EACH OTHER. LISTEN TO EACH OTHER. SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH EACH OTHER. EMPATHIZE. APPRECIATE EACH OTHER. AFFIRM EACH OTHER. BE WILLING TO DO THAT. LOVE IS A VALUE THAT IS ACTUALIZED THROUGH LOVING ACTIONS. SO LOVE, -- THE FEELING -- CAN BE RE-CAPTURED.


TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE WE MUST GENERATE POSITIVE ENERGY AND SIDE-STEP NEGATIVE ENERGY RATHER THAN EMPOWERING IT. THIS IS CALLED, IMPROVING OUR SELF, OR JIHAD. IT IS FUTILE TO TRY AND IMPROVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS BEFORE IMPROVING OURSELVES. IT TAKES A TREMENDOUS COMMITMENT AND COURAGE TO CHANGE.


THE QURAN IS REPLETE WITH MORAL BEHAVIORS WE ARE TO INCULCATE INTO OUR CHARACTER. ESPECIALLY FOR YOUNG COUPLES, NEW TO MARRIAGE, HERE ARE A FEW THAT IF PRACTICED WITH DILIGENCE, CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE MARRIED LIFE RICH, JOYFUL AND ONE OF THE MOST SATISFYING RELATIONSHIPS ON EARTH:


l. PRACTICE TOLERANCE AND PATIENCE.

2. BE FORGIVING. DON'T HOLD GRUDGES

3. KEEP OUR PROMISES/COMMITMENTS TO EACH OTHER.

4. SHOW PERSONAL INTEGRITY (THAT IS, NEVER COMPROMISE WITH

TRUTHFULNESS AND HONESTY

5. GUARD OUR SPOUSE'S SECRETS (DON'T BROADCAST HIS/HER FLAWS)

6. APOLOGIZE SINCERELY WHEN WE'RE WRONG

7. CLARIFY OUR MUTUAL EXPECTATIONS, ROLES AND THE GOALS WE HAVE

FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP AND FAMILY

8. TRY TO UNDERSTAND OUR SPOUSE BEFORE SEEKING TO BE UNDERSTOOD

9. BE AFFECTIONATE

l0.GIVE "LITTLE THINGS" - COURTESY, COMPLIMENTS, HUMOR

11.LEARN TO COMMUNICATE CLEARLY. IT IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE SPEAKER TO MAKE HIMSELF/HERSELF UNDERSTOOD.

12.EXPRESS GRATITUDE OFTEN TO OUR SPOUSE. HE/SHE WORKS HARD

13.GIVE OUR SPOUSE PRE-PLANNED QUALITY TIME WHERE CHILDREN AND FRIENDS DON'T INTRUDE.

14.BE FAITHFUL. MAKE OUR SPOUSE FEEL SECURE IN OUR LOYALTY TO THE MARRIAGE.

15.HANDLE MONEY WISELY, BE NEITHER EXTRAVAGANT NOR MISERLY. AVOID DEALING IN INTEREST AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN.

16.CONTROL OUR TEMPER.

17.PRAY TOGETHER AT LEAST ONCE DAILY.



THE HUSBAND'S RIGHTS; THE WIFE'S OBLIGATIONS

THE BASIS ON WHICH ALL THE WIFE'S OBLIGATIONS REST AND FROM WHICH THEY FLOW IS FROM THE FOLLOWING PRAYER IN THE HOLY QURAN: "OUR LORD, GRANT US OF OUR WIVES AND CHILDREN THE DELIGHT OF OUR EYES, AND MAKE US A MODEL FOR THE RIGHTEOUS." (AL-FURQAN VERSE 75)


THE ESSENTIAL CRITERIA OF DETERMINING THE WIFE'S OBLIGATIONS IS THAT SHE FULFILLS "THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE." WHATEVER SERVES THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE, OR FOLLOWS FROM IT, FALLS WITHIN THE RANGE OF HER DUTIES.


ONE OF THE WIFE'S OBLIGATIONS IS OBEDIENCE TO HER HUSBAND. THIS HAS STIMULATED MORE COMMENTS THAN ANY OTHER SINGLE OBLIGATION. ALLAH SAYS, "SO VIRTUOUS WOMEN ARE THOSE WHO ARE OBEDIENT, AND GUARD THE SECRET OF THEIR HUSBANDS WITH ALLAH'S PROTECTION." (AL-NISA VERSE 35) WHAT HAS TO BE CLARIFIED HERE IS THAT OBEDIENCE IS NOT ABSOLUTE OR UNQUALIFIED. OBEDIENCE TO HER HUSBAND CANNOT VIOLATE THE RIGHTS OF ALLAH. OBEDIENCE APPLIES TO MATTERS THAT FALL WITHIN THE SPHERE OF PERMISSIBLE CATEGORIES OF ACTION AND LIE WITHIN THE RANGE OF HUSBAND'S RIGHTS.


IF WE VIEW THE WIFE'S OBEDIENCE AND THE HUSBAND'S AUTHORITY FROM A SOCIOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE, WE FIND THAT AUTHORITY IS A NECESSARY ELEMENT OF ANY GROUP STRUCTURE. AS STATED EARLIER, THE HUSBAND'S AUTHORITY IS NOT ABSOLUTE. IT IS RESTRAINED BY THE ETHICAL PRINCIPLES OF THE QURAN AND IN NO WAY ALLOWS HIM TO IGNORE HIS WIFE'S POTENTIAL CONTRIBUTION TO THE DECISION-MAKING PROCESS. THE HUSBAND'S PREROGATIVE IS A TYPE OF AUTHORITY, WHICH IS BASED ON EQUITY, GUARDED BY COMPASSION, AND GUIDED BY CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.


AUTHORITY, OR MORE SPECIFICALLY LEADERSHIP, IS A REQUIREMENT OF ANY GROUP ACTIVITY AND IS TO BE INVESTED IN A PERSON WHO IS BEST QUALIFIED FOR IT. WHAT THIS SEEMS TO SUGGEST IS THAT THE FAMILY LEADERSHIP IS NOT CREATED FOR THE HUSBAND; THIS IS NOT AN "OFFICE" FOUNDED FOR THE MAN. RATHER, IT IS ALLOCATED TO HIM AND HE IS APPOINTED TO IT BECAUSE ALLAH DETERMINES HE IS BETTER QUALIFIED FOR THE PLACEMENT. THIS MEANS THAT IN HIS ASSUMPTION OF THE FAMILY LEADERSHIP, THE HUSBAND IS BOUND BY THE RULES OF THE POSITION. IF HE VIOLATES THE RULES OR ABUSES THE POSITION HE CEASES TO QUALIFY FOR IT. HIS AUTHORITY IS NOT UNCONDITIONAL, NOR IS HIS LEADERSHIP UNQUESTIONABLE. THEY ARE NEITHER IMPOSED NOR CLAIMED, BUT ALLOCATED AND SUBJECT TO CHECKS AND BALANCES.


THESE ARE THE KIND OF PRINCIPLES THAT UNDERLIE THE HUSBAND-WIFE RELATIONSHIP IN THE ISLAMIC SCHEME OF SOCIETY.



THE CHILD'S RIGHTS, THE PARENTS OBLIGATIONS

ONE OF THE MOST INALIENABLE RIGHTS OF THE MUSLIM CHILD IS THE RIGHT TO LIFE...IN ALL ITS FORMS...PHYSICAL LIFE, SPIRITUAL AND RELIGIOUS LIFE, EMOTIONAL LIFE, EDUCATIONAL LIFE, SOCIAL LIFE, CULTURAL LIFE. ALLAH SAYS, "...THAT YOU KILL NOT YOUR CHILDREN FOR FEAR OF POVERTY, IT IS WE WHO PROVIDE FOR YOU AND FOR THEM..." (AL-ANAM VERSE 152)


AS MUSLIMS, OUR GOAL IN BRINGING UP OUR CHILDREN SHOULD BE TO TRAIN THEIR PERSONALITIES IN SUCH A WAY THAT THEIR BEST QUALITIES AND POTENTIALITIES WILL BE DEVELOPED AND THAT THEY WILL BE CONSCIOUS OF THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TO ALLAH, SERVING HIM WITH ALL THE TALENTS AND RESOURCES HE HAS GIVEN THEM.


THIS GOAL WILL INSHA ALLAH (IF ALLAH SO WILLS) BE ACHIEVED BY MEANS OF THREE BASIC APPROACHES: (1) PAY ATTENTION TO THE CHILD'S PROPER TRAINING BEFORE IT'S BIRTH. WHEN HUSBAND AND WIFE COME TOGETHER THE PROPHET (SAW) SAID PRAY: "OUR LORD, SAFEGUARD US AGAINST EVIL AND SAFEGUARD THE OFFSPRING THAT YOU MAY BESTOW UPON US AGAINST EVIL. PROPHETS ABRAHAM AND ZACHARIAH'S PRAYERS FOR RIGHTEOUS OFFSPRING (AND OTHERS IN QURAN) ILLUSTRATE THE DUTY PARENTS OWE TO CHILDREN. (2) BY WORKING TO BUILD IN OUR CHILDREN ISLAMIC PERSONALITIES AND ISLAMIC ATTITUDES THROUGH AN ISLAMIC-ORIENTED FAMILY LIFE, AND (3) BY BUILDING INTO THEM A CLEAR AND DYNAMIC UNDERSTANDING THAT ISLAM IS A TOTAL SYSTEM OF LIFE FOR MAN AND HIS SOCIETY PROVIDED FOR HIM BY ALMIGHTY ALLAH, AND THAT HENCE IT IS INFINITELY SUPERIOR TO ANY SYSTEM OR IDEOLOGY WHICH MAN CAN DEVISE. BY ADHERING TO ISLAM HE/SHE WILL BE FOLLOWING HIS NATURE,WHICH WAS DESIGNED BY ALLAH; AND THAT THERE IS NO ALTERING THE CREATION OF ALLAH.


THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO SHAPE A CHILD IN ISLAM'S MOLD IS BY MODELING. HOW SURPRISINGLY IMPORTANT IT IS FOR US AS PARENTS TO REALIZE THAT OUR DAY-TO-DAY MODELING IS FAR AND AWAY OUR HIGHEST FORM OF INFLUENCE. AS PARENTS, WE MAY ATTEMPT TO UNDO OR EVEN COMPENSATE FOR BAD MODELING BY ATTEMPTING TO VERBALLY TEACH CORRECT PRINCIPLES. BUT PRINCIPLES ARE ABSTRACTIONS, AND UNLESS THEY ARE CONCRETELY INTERNALIZED IN OUR MODELING, OUR BEHAVIOR, THEY SIMPLY WILL NOT TAKE. WHAT PEOPLE IDENTIFY WITH FAR MORE THAN WHAT THEY HEAR, IS WHAT THEY SEE AND WHAT THEY FEEL. IF WHAT THEY HEAR IS IN HARMONY WITH WHAT THEY SEE AND FEEL, IT WILL THEN REINFORCE THAT OBSERVATION AND FEELING. IT WILL ALSO GIVE A VERBAL HANDLE ON HOW CORRECT THE CONCEPT IS AND WHY IT WORKS. THE NEXT GENERATION WILL THEN ALSO BE ABLE TO TEACH BY PRECEPT AS WELL AS BY EXAMPLE, FOR THEY WILL BE CONSCIOUSLY COMPETENT TO DO SO.


THIS IS WHY THOSE EARLY YEARS OF LIFE ARE SO CRITICAL, SO SUPREMELY IMPORTANT. THIS IS WHY THE ROLE MODELING OF PARENTS TO CHILDREN IS OUR MOST BASIC, OUR MOST SACRED, OUR MOST SPIRITUAL RESPONSIBILITY, TO OUR CHILDREN.



THE CHILD'S DUTIES; THE PARENTS' RIGHT

ALLAH SUMS UP THE WHOLE MATTER OF PARENT'S RIGHT WHEN HE SAYS, "...AND THAT YOU DO GOOD TO PARENTS..." (AL-ANAM VERSE 152) IT IS A MUSLIM'S DUTY TO ALLAH TO SHOW GOODNESS TO OUR PARENTS, BE THEY MUSLIM OR OTHERWISE. BEHAVIORAL APPLICATIONS OF THIS DIVINE ORDINANCE OF GOODNESS TO THE PARENTS INCLUDE ACTIVE EMPATHY OR "ROLE TAKING," COMPASSIONATE GRATITUDE, PATIENCE, PRAYER FOR THEM EVEN AFTER THEIR DEMISE, HONORING THEIR COMMITMENTS ON THEIR BEHALF WHEN THEY CAN NO LONGER DO SO, SINCERE COUNSEL, AND RESPECT.


PARENTS HAVE A RIGHT TO EXPECT OBEDIENCE FROM THEIR CHILDREN. BUT PARENTS MAY NOT EXPECT SUCH OBEDIENCE IF THEY DEMAND THE WRONG OR ASK FOR THE IMPROPER; IF THEY DO, DISOBEDIENCE BECOMES NOT ONLY JUSTIFIABLE BUT ALSO NECESSARY.


AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE CHILDREN'S DUTY TO ALLAH IS TO PROVIDE MAINTENANCE FOR THEIR PARENTS IN CASE OF NEED. MAINTENANCE INCLUDES ADEQUATE PROVISIONS FOR FOOD, LODGING, CLOTHING, AND GENERAL COMFORT.



FAMILY UNITY

BROTHERS AND SISTERS, ALLAH HAS CHARGED US WITH THE RESPONSIBILITY OF LEADERSHIP OF THE FAMILY WITHIN OUR RESPECTED SPHERES. PERSONAL LEADERSHIP QUALITIES ARE NOT AUTOMATICALLY GIVEN TO US AT BIRTH. WE MUST WORK FOR THEM. FOR OUR FAMILIES TO BE "TURNED-IN-ONE-DIRECTION" -- UNIFIED -- CLARIFIED AS TO ITS GOALS, LEADERS MUST BE SURE OF WHERE THEY ARE GOING. CREATING THE UNITY NECESSARY TO RUN AN EFFECTIVE FAMILY REQUIRES GREAT PERSONAL STRENGTH AND COURAGE...AND CONSTANT PRAYER. NO AMOUNT OF COMMITMENT AND SKILL IN LABORING TO PROPAGATE ISLAM TO THE MASSES, CAN MAKE UP FOR LACK OF NOBILITY OF PERSONAL CHARACTER IN DEVELOPING OUR "AT-HOME" RELATIONSHIPS. IT IS AT A VERY ESSENTIAL, ONE-ON-ONE LEVEL, THAT WE LIVE THE PRIMARY LAWS OF LOVE AND LIFE.


AND FINALLY; ALL PRAISES ARE DUE TO ALLAH, LORD OF ALL THE WORLDS. MAY ALLAH GRANT YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES THE GOOD OF THIS WORLD AS WELL AS THE WORLD TO COME.


BIBLIOGRAPHY

Berelson, Bernard, and Steiner, Gary A., Eds. Human Behavior: An Inventory of Scientific Findings. New York Baltimore: Harcourt, Brace and World, Inc., 1964.


Burchinal, Lee G. "The Premarital Dyad and Love Involvement."

Parents' Manual: A Guide for Muslim Parents Living In North America, Prepared by The Women's Committee The Muslim Students' Association of the U.S. & Canada. USA: World Community of Islam in The West, 1976.


Shorter Encyclopedia of Islam, eds., Gibb, H.A.R., and Kramer, J.H. Leiden: E.J. Brill, 1953.


The Dictionary of The Holy Qur’an, by Abdul Mannan Omar. Noor Foundation – International Inc. 1st Edition May 24, 2003.


The Family Structure in Islam, by Hammudah Abd al Ati. USA: American Trust Publications, 1977.


The Holy Quran, With English Translation and Commentary Published under the auspices of Hazrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad IV. United Kingdom: Islam International Publications LTD., 5 vols., 1988.


The Quran, Arabic Text * English Translation by Muhammad Zafrulla Khan. Great Britain: Curzon Press Ltd., 1981.

The First Mosque in America


For years this mosque was known as the Dayton Mosque. This mosque is historically significant because it was the first mosque built from the ground-up by African American converts to Islam in the United States. Currently, the official name of the mosque is Masjid Fazli Umar.

Ahmadiyya Muslim Community-Chicago 1948